


Leorio the Minionfucker i guess

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter, Minions (2015)
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:44:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>leorio fucks some minions i dont even care anymore</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leorio the Minionfucker i guess

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to jackie for the suggestion
> 
> i want to rot away in hell

For the fifth night in a row, Leorio woke up in a cold sweat. He never remembered his dreams, all he could recall was a flash of yellow, and then a warm feeling in his stomach. At first he waved it off as being the usual wet dream about his friend and fellow hunter, Kurapika the Twink, but lately it hasn’t felt the same.

Leorio went out shopping with his teeny son Gon and his tiny boyfriend, Kilalalia later that day. Everyone looked like smol ants to Leorio, what do you expect him to see with those stupid puny glasses. Anyway, while they shopped, Leorio kept thinking back to the dreams that had plagued him. They felt familiar, he couldn’t discern from where though. It was on the tip of his tongue. Where had he seen that evil glint of yellow? Hisoka’s eyes? Ponzu’s stupid bee hat? That bomb guy from that arc he wasn’t in? 

Gon’s shrill baby voice broke through his thoughts. “LEORIO-SAN!!! Can we go to the movies? Kilallua and I were gonna go later, but we want to take advantage of your money!” How could he say no to such a cute baby voice? Leorio picked up the children with his long, gangly arms and walked into the theater.

Once they sat down and the previews began, Leorio had a strong sense of dread. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was going to happen to him in that movie theater. No one could have pictured the sheer horror and arousal that would grace Leorio’s face then when none other did the trailer for the Minion Movie came on.

That big, solid eye right in the middle of that one abomination’s face. Their smooth, banana-esque skin. The fact that they had no discernible language. Leorio had never been more turned on in his life. He ran out of the cinema before Gon or Kulalaikakallalalallalklallaaa would notice his Big Daddy Bonner. 

Leorio thought he would be safe from his raunchy thoughts outside but boy, he was wrong. Everywhere Leorio looked, there was a Minion. He went to the counter and there were Minions on the popcorn containers. He fled to the bathroom and there were Minions drawn onto the urinals. He ran outside and a man had just finished painting a Minion onto the side of his car. Leorio couldn’t hold in his Lorge Cock Peenee this long. He walked home in two steps with his weird long legs and met Kurapika in the kitchen.

“Kurapika…” he sighed, relieved. “You have no idea what a nightmare it’s been today.”

Just then, Kurapika turned around and he had a Minion tattooed onto his face. “Do you like it Leoreo? You kept moaning about Minions in your sleep, so I thought I’d try something super smexy for you.” He leaned in for a kiss and Leorio screamed as the Minion tattoo enveloped his whole body. 

Leorio sat in the void, nothing to be seen for thousands upon thousands of miles, except a single minion directly in front of him. “Banana?” He asked in a seductive Minion voice and took off his overalls to reveal that stupid fucking red thong that’s in every goddamn Minion trailer that I hate. Leorio couldn’t hold back his lust anymore and surged for those non-existent 3D animated Minion lips. They had hardcore hawt Minion yaoi XD and the Minion had that weird tentabuldge thing that the homestuck fandom wrote in all their troll yaoi fanfiction in 2011. you’re welcome 

do minions even cum. what the fuck would happen. now im thinking about minion genitalia and im very unhappy. i dont want my friends anymore you can keep them. look what they made me do to porr Leorio. You made Leorio into a minionfucker. I hope you’re happy.


End file.
